The "Shoulds"—A Silent Epidemic

Let me tell you about one of the nastiest mental afflictions I see far too often.

It’s not in the medical journals. You won’t find a diagnostic code for it. But almost every single client I’ve ever worked with has suffered from it at some point.

It’s called The Shoulds—and not one of us is immune.

🤯 The Toll It Takes

People battling The Shoulds live in a state of constant comparison, pressure, and quiet inner torment. Maybe this sounds familiar:

• “I should run, even though I hate it… because that’s what ‘fit people’ do.”

• “I should look like the person on the cover of a fitness magazine… even though I know it’s mostly airbrushed nonsense.”

• “I should be leaner, even though my body has made incredible progress.”

• “I should have pushed harder, even though I gave it my all.”

These “shoulds” are endless. They creep into our minds disguised as motivation, but they rarely empower us—they just make us feel like we’re never enough.

😔 The Comparison Trap

When you have The Shoulds, you compare—and then despair.

You start building mental rules that sound like this:

• “If I lose 10 (or 20, or 50) pounds, then I’ll finally be happy.”

• “If I eat perfectly and never mess up, then I’ll have a perfect life.”

• “If I follow my coach’s every word, then all my problems will disappear.” (Okay, that last one’s not entirely wrong 😏)

But here’s the thing...

🌟 The Antidote: What IS

The only real cure for The Shoulds is trading them in for What Is.

What Is… is grounded. It’s real. It’s who you already are, in all your perfectly imperfect humanness. It’s the messy, beautiful truth of right now.

It’s your current body—with its history, resilience, and stories. It’s the effort you did give—without judgment. It’s the meal you enjoyed—without guilt. It’s progress that may not look like anyone else’s but feels meaningful to you.

And it’s worth celebrating.

🧠 Practice: Your “What IS” Reflection

Write your own Owner’s Manual. Start with this:

"Thinking about myself or my life, I feel I should..."   Example: “...be stronger, fitter, and never miss a workout.”

"But in reality, this is what IS:"   “I’m showing up consistently despite a demanding job, and I’m learning to listen to my body.”

"And ‘what IS’ is awesome because:"   “It shows I’m resilient, growing, and prioritizing longevity, not punishment.”

Here’s another:

"Thinking about myself or my life, I feel I should..."   “...have perfect meals every day.”

"But in reality, this is what IS:"   “Some days I order takeout, and other days I cook nourishing food—and that’s balance.”

"And ‘what IS’ is awesome because:"   “It’s sustainable. It’s joyful. It’s real life.”

🛠️ Your Prescription for Recovery

To start healing from The Shoulds:

• Take two “What IS” pills.

• Drink plenty of perspective.

• Breathe deeply. You’re allowed to be human.

• Check in to your life. Not theirs. Yours.

• Repeat daily.

Let go of the rigid rules. Embrace what’s true for you. The fitness, wellness, and life journey isn’t about being flawless—it’s about being honest, kind, and present.

You're already doing more than you realize.

And what IS... is extraordinary.