We all want change. We want to be healthier, happier, and more fulfilled. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: change isn’t supposed to feel good. At least, not at first. It’s awkward, messy, and often downright unpleasant. The trick isn’t about avoiding discomfort; it’s about getting better at living in it.
Why Discomfort is Necessary
Growth and comfort cannot coexist. Think about building muscle – you have to tear the fibers to make them grow back stronger. The same goes for any significant life change. Whether it's breaking an old habit or forming a new one, discomfort is your constant companion. It’s proof that you’re doing something that matters.
The Myth of Quick Fixes
We live in a world of quick fixes and instant gratification. Diet fads, miracle workouts, and self-help shortcuts promise transformation with minimal effort. But if you've ever tried them, you know the result is usually the same: temporary success followed by a harsh return to old patterns. Why? Because they bypass the discomfort. They don't teach you how to live in the tension of change.
The Power of Creative Hopelessness
Ever been in a situation so overwhelming that you felt paralyzed? In psychology, this is called “creative hopelessness.” It’s that dark, uncomfortable place where your usual coping mechanisms don’t work. You feel stuck, vulnerable, maybe even lost. But here’s the thing: in this discomfort lies your greatest opportunity for growth.
When you sit in the discomfort long enough, you’re forced to look for new ways to cope, new ways to adapt. It’s in this space of creative hopelessness that real transformation begins.
The Coach’s Role in Discomfort
Coaching isn’t about giving you the magic answer or making the discomfort go away. It’s about guiding you through it, helping you face it, and teaching you how to grow from it. Good coaches bring their full humanity to the table. They’ve been there, too. They know the messy, emotional terrain of change and aren’t afraid to sit with you in it.
They don’t try to “fix” you or stop you from “feeling bad.” Instead, they help you navigate those feelings, offering compassion, care, and confidence. They listen, empathize, and help you find patterns in your behavior so you can disrupt the cycle of old habits.
Learning to Take a Punch
Strength coach Alwyn Cosgrove has a brilliant metaphor: When learning to fight, your instinct is to back away from a punch. But that leaves you off balance and vulnerable. The counterintuitive – and more effective – move is to lean into it, to close the distance. The same applies to discomfort. Lean in. Get close. Learn to take the hit and stay standing.
Practical Tips for Embracing Discomfort
Stay Present: Don’t run from the discomfort. Notice it. Name it. Feel it. It’s a sign you’re on the right path.
Start with Compassion: It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re growing.
Observe and Learn: What’s triggering your discomfort? What are your usual coping mechanisms? How can you respond differently?
Trust the Process: Discomfort is temporary. Growth is permanent. The more you practice sitting in the discomfort, the more resilient you become.
Your Next Step
If you’re ready to lean into the discomfort and make real, lasting change, let’s talk. Coaching isn’t about shortcuts. It’s about doing the messy, meaningful work that leads to transformation. Ready to get uncomfortable? Because that’s where the magic happens.
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