
Willpower is frequently thought of as something you either have or don’t. It’s like an exclusive club some people were born into while the rest of us are left standing outside, wondering what we did wrong.
Here’s how the story usually goes: If you’ve tried changing something about your health—eating better, moving more, getting consistent sleep—and you didn’t succeed, it’s because you lack willpower. In fact, this story often goes one step further: you failed because you, as a human, are fundamentally flawed.
This story might sound something like this:
“I just can’t seem to get up at 5 a.m., do a HIIT workout before preparing breakfast for my four young kids and partner, pack them off to school and work, and then get myself to my job working full time at a power plant. Man, if only I had more willpower!”
When we hear this as coaches, our radar goes off. There’s a lot happening here that’s impacting this person’s ability to hit their fitness goals. But what they’re focused on is this:
I can’t do this thing.
Therefore, I don’t have enough willpower.
Therefore, I am hopeless and doomed to fail.
This cycle of thinking is more than just untrue; it’s harmful. It reduces all the complexity of your life to one oversimplified reason why you’re struggling: willpower, or the lack of it. But that’s not the real story.
Why the Willpower Story Doesn’t Hold Up
The truth is, willpower isn’t some magical reservoir you’re born with or without. It’s more like a muscle: it can be strengthened, but it can also get tired. And let’s face it—if you’re juggling a demanding job, young kids, a household, and your own well-being, you’re probably using a ton of mental and emotional energy every day. That’s going to leave your willpower feeling depleted.
More importantly, willpower is only one small piece of the puzzle. Success in health and fitness isn’t about brute-forcing your way through life. It’s about understanding your unique challenges and designing a strategy that works for you.
So instead of beating yourself up for not being able to crush your goals through sheer willpower, let’s explore a better way to approach the problem.
Kicking the Willpower Story to the Curb
The first step? Recognize that this story isn’t helping you. Telling yourself you’re failing because you lack willpower is like trying to drive a car with a flat tire while blaming the engine. The real issue isn’t you, it’s the system you’re trying to operate within.
In the example above, the client is setting themselves up with an extremely ambitious plan. A 5 a.m. wake-up, an intense workout, a morning routine for the entire family, and a busy career—that’s a lot to expect of anyone. Even if you had all the willpower in the world, it would still be tough to sustain.
Instead of focusing on willpower, we could:
Break the goal into smaller steps. Maybe starting with a 10-minute walk or gentle stretching in the morning feels more doable than a full-blown HIIT workout.
Find ways to reduce decision fatigue. Pre-planning breakfast or delegating part of the morning routine could free up energy.
Work with your natural rhythms. If 5 a.m. feels impossible, why not find another time of day to move your body?
The key is to shift the focus from “I just need to try harder” to “What can I do differently to make this work for me?”

Your Turn
What’s your version of the willpower story? Is there a goal you’ve been struggling with and blaming yourself for? If so, take a moment to pause and question the story you’re telling. Are you expecting yourself to power through a system that’s working against you? If yes, maybe it’s time to rewrite the script.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where we’ll dive into practical tools to build a system that supports you—no superhero-level willpower required.
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